Tip the bottle, tip the bottle baby
I made all my mistakes alone, now let’s make one together
Another sip of the wine, you won’t remember you know better (well...)
It’s 1792 in the Winter Palace, and I’m staring at this woman in her mistress’s dress
I’m a pompous princeling popinjay, but my liver is a mess
Clowns and the courtiers, lords and the ladies, all try to play me, for my affection
But I can’t take my eyes from the serving girl’s direction
I said come over here my dear, I don’t care who you are, just take a seat next to me up at the bar
No need to say ‘Nyet’ let, just give me a ‘Da’, tonight if you want we can overthrow the Tsar
It’s 1892, I’m lost on Baker Street, the fog’s so heavy I can barely see my feet
My gin bottle’s nearly empty and I need a place to sleep
Before I even know, what’s coming over me I knock at the door of 221B, Watson bade me enter for opium and tea
Sherlock came stumbling in, he was missing a shoe, dropped his violin cos he’s already had a few
He said tell me your name, sir, cos I don’t have a clue, I said I’m Moriarty and I’m so pleased to meet you!
New York’s depressing at the best of times but it’s 1930, walking down the street I see this girl whose dress is dirty
Don’t tell me what’s coming next, what I don’t know can’t hurt me
I take a sip for luck, go over say ‘tell me will ya, come back to my soup kitchen, another drink won’t kill ya’
She said ‘Too late I’ve got a date with a great big gorilla’
I say no way, Fay Wray, you’re making me frown, we don’t go for grumpy monkeys up in this town
He might take Empire State, but I’ll take off his crown and we’ll drink from the grape when the ape lets you down
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